Who’s Looking Mean????

“Why do you look so mean?” This question and the variations of it, drive me bonkers, and unfortunately, some stranger (or acquaintance) ask me this question at least once a week. *insert angry red faced emoticon* I’ve been getting asked this question my entire life.  As a young person, I thought maybe there was something wrong with me and commenced to attempt to fix myself, but as an adult, I realize it’s just stupidity that leaves me with a number of thoughts every time it happens:

  • Why do I get asked this question regularly, but Leon, who probably looks meaner than me, lol, doesn’t have this as a part of his weekly experience?  As women, society  thinks that we are to be kind, sweet, and meek.  We are to smile at people and have a consistently pleasant disposition.  All of which is utter BS! Whenever I mention being asked why I look so mean on social media, it is always the women who comment sharing similar experiences (check out the comments from one of my girl Ticka’s recent IG post), especially among black women (I’ll have to write about being an “angry black woman” another day!)  No one wonders why a man looks mean, and if they do, they don’t ask him, as men are allowed and expected to have a serious face, but let a woman walk around not smiling, and she looks mean. *insert red angry face emoticon again, lol*
  • What exactly is looking mean?  Who came up with the prototype for what appearing happy looks like?  Does it require a person to skip around, humming a joyous tune?  Should one maintain a smile at all times?  Who is the judge for “Looking Mean,” America’s new nationwide talent search?
  • I am mean!  Maybe.  LOL.  I certainly wouldn’t consider myself nice or friendly.  If you asked my loved ones to describe me in five words, I doubt that nice is a word they would use, well maybe…  I am kind and compassionate, especially if I love and care about you, but  I am not super friendly, I don’t smile a lot, and I don’t convey my emotions on my face very well.
  • Why does anyone care if I (or any one else) look mean?  Is it hurting humanity? Am I killing people with my resting face (side note:  I tend to think that my resting face is beautiful, lol)? Am I causing anyone bodily harm?  Just let my face rest, sheesh!

Whenever I am asked “Why do you look so mean,” I have all kind of truly mean things run across my mind to say, including, “Because I am, damn!”  However, in my attempt to be kind, I go with, “It’s just my resting (bitch*) face.” {*This addition is optional, depending on the circumstance.}  If you too deal with being asked this question on a regular basis, feel free to use this response, as well.  It never fails to dead the conversation. 🙂   If you have another response for people who ask, “Why do you look so mean,” I’d love to add it to my repertoire, so share it and your own experience in the comments below!

2 thoughts on “Who’s Looking Mean????

  1. Girl, yes! I get this too, most recently from a friend who was “concerned” about what “people” would think. *smh*
    A wonderful wonderful post.

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